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Friday, 13 February 2015

A TOAST LOST IN TRANSLATION - FUNNY!



After my coming out, Luca’s behavior towards me changed radically. He became very friendly, nosey and rather touchy.  He started asking me very personal questions on my sexual life, the size of my boyfriend’s penis and the way we made love. “Is it true that the Chinese guys have a small dick?” He asked me once. He was very chatty, he told me everything about his Swedish girlfriend and what they did in bed. He enjoyed having pillow fights with me and I started having the impression that somehow he was hitting on me. “It can’t be”, I thought, “he is a straight guy”. He was definitely not my type of man, but I cannot deny that he was a great guy with a high sense of humor. One day, he went to the wedding of a Japanese friend of his. She had invited tens of people from Japan over to London to take part at the ceremony.
During the meal at the restaurant, he stood up with his glass, and he said: “I propose a chin chin to the mother of the bride’’. A long moment of silence followed and from then on, no one spoke a single word to him. Luca did not know that the Italian word “cin-cin pronounced chin chin” is translated in English with “toast”. He also ignored that “Chin Chin” ちんちん in Japanese is a way for children to indicate the male’s reproductive organ. To the Japanese guests, his sentence sounded more like “Let’s give a penis to the mother of the bride too’’. The politeness and shyness of the Asian guests had prevented Luca from understanding his little mistake. Eventually one day his friend explained him the meaning of those words.


It was the end of December when I realized that my suspicion was not so far from reality. Luca came to me and he decided to make me aware of the size of his penis. “You know, I have got some problems with my girlfriend, she says that my dick is way too big”, he said. That wasn’t all. He went on… “I would be very curious to try to have sex with a guy…” Was he hitting on me? Did he want me to become his first homosexual experience? No one will ever know that, I changed the subject and avoided any further sexual-related talk. Most of the gay guys would give anything to have sex with a straight guy. I guess I did not want to experience anything with any dick that was bigger than Dan’s.