Monday, 9 February 2015


Hey guys today's post is about another chapter of Mattia's diary, plus a cool video Enjoy!

The Internet, that amazing invention that is giving dependence to half of the planet, helped me to get a social life in this new land. I had left Milan with a huge list of guys, complete with their pictures, contact numbers, height, age, weight, eyes and hair colour. I thought about every single detail of my bound-to-be new life before even starting it. How could I only take the courage to call them? I was such a shy guy, with little experience, except for some lousy sex with a classmate when I was 12. I guess the need of friends, the curiosity to meet other gay guys and most important the unbearable need to make love, gave me the strength to dial those numbers. “Hello” “Hi John, this is Mattia speaking, I arrived in London a few days ago and I would like to meet up” “Where are you now?” Asked John. “I am walking around Waterloo station…” I answered. “Why don’t you meet me on the London Bridge in half an hour, I will drive by and pick you up”… John’s voice sounded cold and so professional that made me feel like a prostitute. Did I want a boyfriend like him? “No, sorry, I’d rather do another time, bye”.

Dan was a Taiwanese guy 6 years older than me, shorter than me, with dark brown eyes, black hair and a perfect body. Some people say that the first boyfriend is the most important one, the one that you will always try to find again in future relationships. That was not my case. I fell in love with him very fast, but it’s impressive how now I would never start a relationship, with a guy that looks totally different from my ideal man. Lambeth was not an area with many Chinese residents, still on that day, the 25th of September 1998, lots of young men from the Far East, decided to walk by the place, where I had arranged to meet with my bound-to-be first boyfriend. It was dark already and Francisco had just left for his shift. I was standing at the corner between the Westminster Bridge Road and the King Edward Walk. Dan was late, as he always will have proved to be and I was killing the time shifting my attention from his picture to my watch and back to the picture. Most of the Asian guys that were walking by looked, to my eyes, just like his photo. It took me a while to get accustomed on how different Chinese people can look, between one another. I guess westerns do look all the same to them. Finally he arrived, he recognized me and came to talk to me. We walked together to my place, we entered my room I laid the mattresses of the bunk bed on the floor, so that we could sit there and no one would have been able to open the door. I don’t remember when Dan became my partner. We never talked about it, as I guess at that time, there was no need. I was so naïve that I believed that when one sleeps with a man, he will be the one to share the life with. Dan wasn’t mine only, but I was his, at least for half a year. He helped me to improve my English, he taught me the word “Toilet-roll” and nouns of other items that I needed to find in the local “Costcutter” shop.


The first two weeks were almost over and suddenly I remembered that I had given notice and I only had 3 days left to find myself a new home. I bought “Loot” and started reading through the letting section. I was neither too fussy about the condition of the flat, nor was I about the people that lived in it. When one works for a fast-food restaurant in London, one cannot afford to be too picky on accommodations. “Leicester Gardens, 200 meters from Queensway tube station, bed-sit in a 2-bedroom flat, spacious kitchen, furnished, bathroom with bathtub. 65Ppw” It sounded good to me, however the advert did not mention that the flat was overcrowded, that one had to conquer their bed by fighting for it every now and then and that there were other creatures living in it, cute little mice. 3 days later I moved into my new home in Bayswater and the very same day I started having troubles. Veronica, an Italian girl that was supposed to move out, did not have anywhere to sleep that night. As any gentleman would do, I gave up my bed for the first night and spent it on the most uncomfortable sofa that mankind ever produced. You would probably wonder why, I did not choose to sleep at my boyfriend’s. Dan lived in a one-bedroom flat, with a spacious kitchen, a massive living room, a dumb old red cat and his ex-boyfriend. Sometimes I had the feeling that something was not right. Was I too suspicious? It might be, the fact is that Dan, lived at Albert’s place for free and they slept together on a rather small bed.

Since my move to the Leicester Gardens flat, Dan had to change his timetable, in order to fulfill our intimacy needs. Furthermore I had decided to avoid coming out to my flatmates, in fact, I was straight-acting enough that no one ever bothered to ask. From then on, I started getting a usual routine, getting up at 6am, starting my shift at 7am, going back home at 3pm, having a shower to get rid of the nasty fried oil smell and traveling all the way to Surrey Quays, where Dan’s flat was located. The only two exceptions were Tuesday and Friday, as on those days I had my English evening lessons at a college by Tottenham Court Road. Weeks went by without me having the chance to meet Dan’s ex-partner, until one day…

The door opened making the usual creaky noise and Albert walked in. We rushed to put our clothes back on, but I guess it was clear to him that we were not playing monopoly there. Dan was always very good at interpreting the rules. His flatmate, who also happened to be the flat owner, had asked him to avoid having sex on their bed. I am pretty sure he did mean, “don’t fuck with anyone in my flat!” Dan had interpreted with “sex on our bed is not allowed, but there is still a large sofa in the living room”. Albert hated me: Our conversations were limited to “hi” and “bye”, which made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Even when he wasn’t there, I felt his presence and his huge red cat did not seem to enjoy my visits either. 


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